Tuesday, 28 February 2012
Monday, 27 February 2012
A-League Review: 27th February
Newcastle Jets 1-0 Adelaide United
Adelaide's hopes of reaching the final 6 have been all but eradicated after Newcastle pulled one out of the bag and claimed 3 valuable points to aid their own finals charge. The reds were on the back foot for most of the game, and it came as no surprise when Tarek Elrich's goal came in the 39th minute, scoring off the back of a brilliant Francis Jeffers cross.
While Adelaide were for the most part well contained by the Jets defence and posed no real threat, the final 20 minutes or so showed how desparately they needed the points, and they through literally everything they had at the resolute Jets defenders. However, they managed to stay strong, and United found their route to the goal blocked at every turn.
The win puts the Jets in sixth place, but with a possible eye on moving up as high as third, though they are only one point ahead of Sydney. For Adelaide however, an 8 point deficit to make up over the space of 4 games, with 3 teams ahead of them, seems an insurmountable challenge, and they could probably use these final few games to blood some youngsters, help Van Dijk on his way to the golden boot, or to try and spoil the party for teams above them.
Sydney FC 0-1 Wellington Phoenix
Sydney are in danger of missing out on a finals place after this latest slip against Wellington at the SFS. While admittedly, they did deserve a draw, they did little to show the class we know they possess, and key players like Brett Emerton and Bruno Cazarine failed to shine.
Phoenix's leading scorer Paul Ifill fired them into the lead after just 12 minutes and to be perfectly honest, after that, it was a fairly dull match. While Emerton tried everything he could to lead a turnaround, the rest of the team weren't on his level, and each attack came to an early, frustrating end.
Wellington have jumped into third after this victory, hopping over Perth Glory and all but assuring themselves of a finals place unless something dramatic happens. Sydney, however, are one point off, and are desparately trying to snatch some points late on in the season.
Gold Coast United 1-1 Melbourne Victory
Gold Coast followed up their great performance against Central Coast with another good showing against Melbourne Victory.
While they played a good match, it was a case of same old-same old for the side, as they took the lead through Maceo Rigters in the 50th minute. They seemed to have finally broken their bad habit of conceding late, late goals, but their youth and lack of experience shone through, and sure enough Carlos Hernandez levelled just 6 minutes later to hand Victory a valuable point.
However, it may not be enough. They sit 5 points off a finals spot, and with only four games to go, including rounds at Phoenix and Perth, they will need to pick up their game to have any chance of qualifying. For Gold Coast, it was just another opportunity to blood their youngsters, and they will feel they have done that and shown they are a force to be reckoned with.
Perth Glory 0-3 Brisbane Roar
The champions are back to their best, and this time without their talisman Thomas Broich. Their star man was absent, but it hardly showed, whereas Glory's absentees Liam Miller and Shane Smeltz left a noticeable scar on the side.
Henrique opened the scoring after 20 minutes after taking the ball calmly round the keeper and slotting into the empty goal and Brisbane never looked like surrendering their lead which was extended after the interval in the 58th minute through Besart Berisha, who completed his brace 4 minutes later after good work and clever thinking from the young Nick Fitzgerald who could have taken the shot but instead went for the sure thing and flicked the ball past the oncoming keeper to Berisha to tap home the easiest goal he'll ever score.
Roar are now certain they can catch Mariners, and one more slip-up from the Central Coast and they'll be level on points and with a superior goal difference, they will be confident they will be celebrating again come the end of the regular season. As for Glory, they remain 4 points clear of the bottom and need just a few more points to guarentee themselves of more football after their 27 game season is over.
Melbourne Heart 1-0 Central Coast Mariners
Melbourne Heart showed glimpses of their mid-season form that for a short while turned them into title contenders as they beat Central Coast Mariners for the first time in their history. Eli Babalj fired home just after half time to give the Heart a much needed confidence and morale boost ahead of their season run in.
Central Coast, however, don't seem to have recovered from their draw against the Gold Coast, and players like Rogic and Kwasnik, who have been on such good form recently, failed to make an impact on the game, and the referee was the busiest man on the pitch, handing out 4 yellow cards in the first 15 minutes. 5 minutes after the goal, however, they recieved a penalty, which Englishman John Sutton proceeded to hit at the keeper.
Central Coast desparately need to hit form, and just one more loss could see them leapfrogged by Brisbane unless Roar drop points. It's a real race to the end of the season, with Central Coast needing 10 points from their final four games to guarentee themselves the title. Heart need the same amount to guarentee themselves a finals spot, but with the dog fight going on below them, that will prove a much easier task. What a run in we have!
A -League Review: Gameweek 18 (Previously Postponed)
Gold Coast United 3-3 Central Coast Mariners
Gold Coast and Central Coast met today under very different circumstances to each other. Gold Coast are the only team that the Mariners haven't beaten this season, and they looked to hold onto that fact. However, their recent form was not on their side, still searching for the first win of 2012. For Central Coast, they were looking to cement their place at the top of the A-League and make almost certain their Premiership. They had just about recovered from a slight dip in form, and were out to destroy a youthful Gold Coast side.
Gold Coast were still suffering from a long injury list, though Michael Thwaite's return from suspension was a major lift to the side, while Central Coast's only problems were the 3 Australian Olyroos players, Under-23's to you and me, but Tom Rogic has been a revelation, and there was much hope that he could inspire the team.
Things got off to the perfect start for Central Coast, as Adam Kwasnik netted after just three minutes with what was a fairly scrappy goal, though Rogic had a great run to get the assist. Being bottom of the table, one would have expected Gold Coast to roll over and admit defeat, as we expected last weekend against Melbourne. However, 5 minutes later, and Hutchy will love this name - Gol-Gol Mebrahtu was knocked over in the penalty area, and Chris Harold barged his way through a crowd of his players to take the spot kick, and duly buried it. There was no sign of Gold Coast relenting, and as the crowd at Skilled Park could sense something, Ben Halloran barged his way onto the scene, with a fantastic goal to give the hosts hope of causing an upset going into half time.
The second half began brightly aswell, as Central Coast found themselves on the defensive for a fair while as United gained confidence. Mitch Cooper, the 17-year old captain who cost Miron Bleiberg his job last week, scored a great goal on only his second A-League start. Bernie Ibini-Isei scored only 3 minutes later to give Central Coast hope of a revival. This was realised 7 minutes later when Adam Kwasnik slotted home the equaliser to set up a pulsating final 25 minutes of play in which Central Coast really should have taken it. But take nothing away from Gold Coast United, they were fantastic on the night, and were good value for their point.
While they are still consigned to the wooden spoon, Gold Coast will finish the season as the only side that Central Coast haven't managed to beat, and with their youth on display, they have a lot to look forward to - assuming they're still a club next year. Central Coast have started slipping and losing ground to Brisbane Roar again, and are now only 6 points ahead.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
A-League Review: 20th February 2012
BNR - MBV
The Roar continue their chase of Central Coast Mariners with an entertaining 3-2 win over Melbourne Victory at Suncorp Stadium. Brisbane had the dream start, with Besart Berisha scoring after just 42 seconds and one amazing run through a maze of defenders. Harry Kewell then levelled just a few minutes later after a fine finish, before Berisha again showed exactly why he has been offered his contract extension before Henrique smashed home from the penalty spot a few minutes later. Harry Kewell then bagged his second goal as the Socceroo showed a burst of pace to break and slot home which left about half an hour of intense football as Melbourne pushed desparately for an equaliser, but to no avail. While the Victory are in 8th place, they will be confident of their potential for a finals place, and face Gold Coast United next week. Brisbane face a long trip to Perth next week as they attempt to mount pressure on league leaders Central Coast.
MBH - GCU
Heart faired better than their Melbourne counterparts back at home at AAMI park as they narrowly beat a youthful Gold Coast United. With so much said midweek about the team and their 17 year old captain Mitch Cooper, along with the sacking/resigning/suspending of coach Miron Bleiberg over remarks on the matter, most people expect Gold Coast to just roll over and accept the fate. But no, a lively defensive display saw them create their fair share of chances throughout the game, and it was slightly tragic to see a team with only one player over the age of 25 fall behind to an Eli Babalj goal late in the game. Gold Coast, who face the other Melbourne side next week, are now basically guarenteed of the Wooden spoon, finding themselves 8 points adrift at the bottom of the A-League, while for Heart it is 3 vital points gained as they vie for a finals place and they face.
CCM - WPX
Central Coast continued to assert their dominance at the top of the A-League with a win over title rivals Wellington Phoenix today. Tomas Rogic struck first as he scored a superb goal and established his growing reputation within the Mariners side. Veteran defender Patrick Zwaanswijk capped off another fantastic performance by netting his own goal in the 81st minute, and set Mariners on their way to their first win in three attempts and keep them away from the snapping jaws of Brisbane on their tails. Wellington's title charge is now essentially over, but they can be proud of what they have achieved over the past few weeks, and can just keep up the race for second place and what I believe is there best finish ever.
PTH - NUJ
Perth cemented their grip on a finals place with this victory against Newcastle Jets. When Liam Miller was taken off after only 12 minutes with a suspected hamstring injury, Glory fans feared the worst. Then up stepped Adam Hughes. Within four minutes, he scored only his second goal in a Perth shirt and after that goal, Perth never seemed in any real danger. Newcastle never really threatened, and it was Billy Mehmet's goal in the 56th minute that sealed the win for Ian Ferguson's side, they're 6th win in 8 games. Jets, who seemed to have finally found their feet, are now back in limbo, 2 points below the finals positions, while Perth themselves have leapfrogged Wellington to climb into the top 3 in the A-League.
ADU - SFC
Adelaide's disappointing league form returned to haunt them after their 3-0 drubbing of Persipura in their midweek Asian Champions League qualifier. Chianese scored first for Sydney, who were coming off the back of their 2-1 win last week and have now thrown themselves back into contention for a finals place. His goal came just before half time, while Adelaide's equaliser through Barbiero came just after. The match looked set to end as a draw before substitute Mitchell Mallia scored the winner with 10 minutes left to play. Sydney have now lifted themselves back into the top 6 with this win, and are sitting pretty on 30 points, while for the Reds, it was a case of business as usual, as they slumped to their 9th defeat of the season and are 9th in the table, five points outside the finals places they crave so much.
Ligue 1 - 20th February 2012
I'm really not feeling football this week. I gave it my all last week, so this week I'm all like "blaueeghghg." So don't expect anything exciting.
Eugh. So, Bordeaux vs. Lyon. What happened there, eh? Well, Plan "Us" didn't go down too well with one particular Bordeaux player, because he tried to steal the pitch, and as such, Planus got booked in the 50th minute. Other than that, I can't really make any puns. The final score was 1-0 to Bordeaux. Fun.
Sigh.
I can't even be motivated with the use of puns for this one. There are literally none. I'm just going to go ahead and say that Paris Saint-Germain drew with Montpellier 2-2. There. That wasn't exciting at all. It was equal throughout both halves. Literally. Paris scored at 41 minutes, so then four minutes later Montpellier scored. Montpellier then scored at 82 minutes, so Paris scored six minutes later. THAT'S NOT EXCITING. THAT'S JUST TO AND FRO. However, that did sound like a match report.
Now, you see, this one looks like a good game. In fact, it looks like a very good game. Rennes were pretty much sitting on their arses for the entire thing, because St Etienne kicked their... I don't want to say arses twice, and St Etienne couldn't kick them anyway because Rennes were sitting on them. See? Anyway, look at the goal scorers names (they all play for St Etienne by the way). In the 24th minute Mignot scored the only goal in the first half. But then in the second half Batlles had a right challenge ahead of him (you might even say, a batlle), but despite that he scored in the 53rd minute. Whoo! Bakary Sako baked up some mean... sako when he scored in the 67th minute. And then of course Gradel was certainly cradling a semi when he scored in the 78th minute, bringing the final score to 4-0. You see that? Not only was that an amazing match report, but it also included puns.
Aaaaaannnnddd back to a boring game. Yawn. This game even has Brest in it, but I can't make that joke every week. Can I? No, I can't. They played against AC Ajaccio and no goals were scored. Yay.
Well, at least there are some cool names in this game. Let's just get the score out of the way. Caen 2-2 Evian Thonon Gaillar. We good? Right. Frau? Frau, what are you doing on the pitch? You know this is a men's sport right? Come on, get back in the kitchen. No don't kick the ball! Shit! It went in! They're counting that? But it's two minutes into half-time! Alright, fine. I'm not one to judge. Well done Caen for picking a Frau to do your dirty work. Oh wait, that's not even the best bit. Evian have got pirates scoring for them. Barbosa fucking scored in the 50th minute. He probably stabbed some people to secure that. I mean, it's not like he can move around a lot with only one leg. Ooh, someone finally caught out Rippert for raping and murdering slags in White Chapel. He got booked for it. Seems like he's been let off really.
Argh! Exciting score but no puns! Nice weren't being too nice (ooh, spoke too soon) this game, because three of their players got booked, and that didn't help them at all. They didn't score any goals. However, Dijon, in all their niceness (irony), scored three goals, leaving the final score at 3-0.
Okay, bored now.
Lille beat Lorient 1-0. Debuchy scored in the 76th minute.
Marseille 1-1 Valenciennes. Gil scored in the 51st minute for Valenciennes, and Diarra scored in the 16th minute for Marseille. That actually sounds pretty exciting. Marseille scored in the first few minutes, making the Valenciennes fans scared, and then Valenciennes scored in the first few minutes of the second half. I bet the entire game was pretty tense.
Toulouse didn't lose this week! Instead, they beat Nancy 3-0. Exciting stuff. Well done, Toulouse. Nope, no interesting names though.
Ah, and the last game of the week. Well, actually, it was the first, but because they're in reverse order on the BBC I do them in reverse order as well. I'm just so lazy. Like the French. Ah, you thought you'd get away without a "the French are lazy" joke in there somewhere. Well guess again. Anyway, it's actually a pretty fucking boring game. Not surprised really, because it's the first game. It should really build up. In fact, if you read from bottom to top then my match reports get more and more interesting, and the games get more exciting. Huh, go figure. Anyway, Sochaux 0-0 Auxerre. See? Boring. Although the player who got booked for Sochaux is called Martin. Just Martin. That seems a bit of a ... boring name for a French ligue player. Martin is the guy who fixes your boiler, not a footballer. Hah.
Anyway, that's that for another week.
Pete out.
Eugh. So, Bordeaux vs. Lyon. What happened there, eh? Well, Plan "Us" didn't go down too well with one particular Bordeaux player, because he tried to steal the pitch, and as such, Planus got booked in the 50th minute. Other than that, I can't really make any puns. The final score was 1-0 to Bordeaux. Fun.
Sigh.
I can't even be motivated with the use of puns for this one. There are literally none. I'm just going to go ahead and say that Paris Saint-Germain drew with Montpellier 2-2. There. That wasn't exciting at all. It was equal throughout both halves. Literally. Paris scored at 41 minutes, so then four minutes later Montpellier scored. Montpellier then scored at 82 minutes, so Paris scored six minutes later. THAT'S NOT EXCITING. THAT'S JUST TO AND FRO. However, that did sound like a match report.
Now, you see, this one looks like a good game. In fact, it looks like a very good game. Rennes were pretty much sitting on their arses for the entire thing, because St Etienne kicked their... I don't want to say arses twice, and St Etienne couldn't kick them anyway because Rennes were sitting on them. See? Anyway, look at the goal scorers names (they all play for St Etienne by the way). In the 24th minute Mignot scored the only goal in the first half. But then in the second half Batlles had a right challenge ahead of him (you might even say, a batlle), but despite that he scored in the 53rd minute. Whoo! Bakary Sako baked up some mean... sako when he scored in the 67th minute. And then of course Gradel was certainly cradling a semi when he scored in the 78th minute, bringing the final score to 4-0. You see that? Not only was that an amazing match report, but it also included puns.
Aaaaaannnnddd back to a boring game. Yawn. This game even has Brest in it, but I can't make that joke every week. Can I? No, I can't. They played against AC Ajaccio and no goals were scored. Yay.
Well, at least there are some cool names in this game. Let's just get the score out of the way. Caen 2-2 Evian Thonon Gaillar. We good? Right. Frau? Frau, what are you doing on the pitch? You know this is a men's sport right? Come on, get back in the kitchen. No don't kick the ball! Shit! It went in! They're counting that? But it's two minutes into half-time! Alright, fine. I'm not one to judge. Well done Caen for picking a Frau to do your dirty work. Oh wait, that's not even the best bit. Evian have got pirates scoring for them. Barbosa fucking scored in the 50th minute. He probably stabbed some people to secure that. I mean, it's not like he can move around a lot with only one leg. Ooh, someone finally caught out Rippert for raping and murdering slags in White Chapel. He got booked for it. Seems like he's been let off really.
Argh! Exciting score but no puns! Nice weren't being too nice (ooh, spoke too soon) this game, because three of their players got booked, and that didn't help them at all. They didn't score any goals. However, Dijon, in all their niceness (irony), scored three goals, leaving the final score at 3-0.
Okay, bored now.
Lille beat Lorient 1-0. Debuchy scored in the 76th minute.
Marseille 1-1 Valenciennes. Gil scored in the 51st minute for Valenciennes, and Diarra scored in the 16th minute for Marseille. That actually sounds pretty exciting. Marseille scored in the first few minutes, making the Valenciennes fans scared, and then Valenciennes scored in the first few minutes of the second half. I bet the entire game was pretty tense.
Toulouse didn't lose this week! Instead, they beat Nancy 3-0. Exciting stuff. Well done, Toulouse. Nope, no interesting names though.
Ah, and the last game of the week. Well, actually, it was the first, but because they're in reverse order on the BBC I do them in reverse order as well. I'm just so lazy. Like the French. Ah, you thought you'd get away without a "the French are lazy" joke in there somewhere. Well guess again. Anyway, it's actually a pretty fucking boring game. Not surprised really, because it's the first game. It should really build up. In fact, if you read from bottom to top then my match reports get more and more interesting, and the games get more exciting. Huh, go figure. Anyway, Sochaux 0-0 Auxerre. See? Boring. Although the player who got booked for Sochaux is called Martin. Just Martin. That seems a bit of a ... boring name for a French ligue player. Martin is the guy who fixes your boiler, not a footballer. Hah.
Anyway, that's that for another week.
Pete out.
Monday, 20 February 2012
A-League Review: 12th February (Sorry for lateness!)
From now on, these videos will be much better quality, i promise
Monday, 13 February 2012
Ligue 1 - 13th February 2012
I think this might be the best week of French football of all time. I can't even comprehend how amazing this week of football has been. I haven't even seen any of it, and I know that it's been amazing. Of course, I'm Peter Hutchinson, and therefore the best-ness isn't determined by how many goals have been scored, but by how many puns I can fit into a report.
Let's kick some balls. Footballs.
I love that tagline; I have no idea why the FA don't use it. I especially don't know why Dukey and the others don't use it. It's so awesome.
Anyway, sorry, I'm getting sidetracked by balls. Footballs.
See! You can just use it over and over and it never gets old.
Anyway, sorry again. Foot. Balls.
FIRST OFF THERE WAS MEGA EXCITEMENT WHEN LILLE PLAYED AGAINST BORDEAUX. OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THE SCORE. 4-5! JESUS FUCKING TITTY CHRIST THAT'S A LOT OF NUMBERS. Well, actually it's just two numbers, but THEY'RE PRETTY FUCKING BIG NUMBERS FOR A FOOTBALL GAME. Anyway, to kick things off, PUN. Sorry, I'm really excited about this round of football. Anyway, in quite possibly the biggest game I've ever seen in French football, there were loads of people scoring. Now you'd think with a name like Hazard you'd get booked nearly every game, but nope, he scored for Lille. Braniak, Obraniak, where for art thou Obraniak? On the field kicking balls that's where! More specifically, kicking balls into nets! He scored twice for Bordeuax! TWICE! Two is a big number for a French footballer! Aw man, what an awesome game.
Oh. I just saw the next game. I suppose I'll do some juxtaposition to feign excitement so that the tone isn't lowered by the absolute appalling state of affairs.
HOLY FUCKING TITWANKS, NICE DIDN'T BEAT PARIS St. GERMAIN, but guess what, PARIS St. GERMAIN DIDN'T BEAT NICE. THAT'S RIGHT! IT WAS A DRAW! AND NO GOALS WERE SCORED! AND THERE WERE ONLY TWO BOOKINGS. YAY. I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED BY HOW BORING THIS GAME WAS.
Whoa, I think I'm having a head rush from how exciting all of this football is.
I think I just found the most awesome player ever to play for St. Etienne. Aubameyang scored in the 71st minute for them. So in the end, they beat Toulouse 1-0. Haha, Toulouse. Tu lose. Hah! French pun!
OH DUDE. You know Hazard? Well his name is Eden, and he's wanted by loads of clubs in the Premiere League of England. Let's hope he doesn't get bought by any Cornish team badum tsss!
Okay, you didn't get that one. Admittedly, it was quite a long shot. If you know the geography of England, then you'll know that the Eden project is - oh, you just got it. Well done :)
I'm assuming you got it at that point, if you didn't then... Ask a friend.
Anyway, more football.
I think Chafni was having problems with his knee... perhaps of the chafing variety and as such in a scuffle he knocked someone over, and that was why he was booked. He plays for Auxerre by the way. They drew 1-1 against Lorient. Right, that's that out of the way. Now let's look at who got booked. Hah, Grichting is an awesome name. "What've you got there, mate?" "Ah you know, it's just grich and ting." Uhuh. Now say Ndinga. Now say it again. Now say it over and over to a beat. How cool is that? Whoa, Gassama man, did you get booked for farting? Keep it in. Romao? What are you doing back? Get back to your Shakespearean novel! Mvuemba. That's just an awesome name. So, so awesome. Audard clearly got sent off for being... no, I think doing that would be trying to 'ard. Audard tried 'ard as well. He's oh-d-'ard.
HAHAHAHAH. I love balls. Footballs.
Oooh, Gentilettii, be careful with those Brests. I love Brest. I think it's my favourite team that isn't ... can I mention another team that isn't Brest or Dijon in this match report? I don't think I should. Not only does Gentiletti look like genital, but he scored for Brest. That's just funny. Also, he's got gentile in his name, hence the first pun. Anyway, I suppose I should talk about the actual game. Yeah, I don't think I can make any puns from these names. Wait, got it. They're all players for Dijon though, and they all got booked. Meite got booked for overcharging the referee for his electricity bill, Sankhare tried to drown a rabbit and Souprayen was unlawfully making his religious beliefs known on the pitch, but that paid off because a few minutes later Kakuta scored, making the final score 1-1.
This has got to stop.
Alright, there are no funny names in this match at all. None. There are awesome names, but no funny ones. Okay? So no more puns. I can't even make a pun using the team names, so there'll be no fooling toms in this report, no sir. Caen beat Lyon 2-1.
See? I didn't tomfool at all.
WOW. MONTPELLIER BEAT AC AJACCIO 3-0! AND ALL OF THE GOALS WERE IN THE SECOND HALF!
Still no tomfoolery. It's all serious from here on in. If I'm perfectly honest, I think it's because all of the puns have run out.
Oh come on, Nancy, stop being such a ... well a nancy! If I see you lose again then I'll - wait, I said seriousness. Whew. Calm down. Samassa scored for - Samassa sounds like a popular Indian snack! - oh now come on, Inside Voice, that was just immature. For those of you who don't know, my Inside Voice occasionally annoys me. Especially on my blog. *cough* So didn't just advertise my blog. Anyway, this guy scored for Valenciennes in the very last minute, well actually, in two minutes past the very last minute, so I bet that was exciting. This made the final score 1-0 to Valenciennes.
What's left? Rennes beat Sochaux 1-0. I have nothing left to say about this game, except the guy who got booked for Sochaux. His name is Yaya. Is that like a really happy yoyo?
I'm Peter Hutchinson and this week I think I definitely kicked you in the balls. Footballs.
Pete out.
Let's kick some balls. Footballs.
I love that tagline; I have no idea why the FA don't use it. I especially don't know why Dukey and the others don't use it. It's so awesome.
Anyway, sorry, I'm getting sidetracked by balls. Footballs.
See! You can just use it over and over and it never gets old.
Anyway, sorry again. Foot. Balls.
FIRST OFF THERE WAS MEGA EXCITEMENT WHEN LILLE PLAYED AGAINST BORDEAUX. OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE THE SCORE. 4-5! JESUS FUCKING TITTY CHRIST THAT'S A LOT OF NUMBERS. Well, actually it's just two numbers, but THEY'RE PRETTY FUCKING BIG NUMBERS FOR A FOOTBALL GAME. Anyway, to kick things off, PUN. Sorry, I'm really excited about this round of football. Anyway, in quite possibly the biggest game I've ever seen in French football, there were loads of people scoring. Now you'd think with a name like Hazard you'd get booked nearly every game, but nope, he scored for Lille. Braniak, Obraniak, where for art thou Obraniak? On the field kicking balls that's where! More specifically, kicking balls into nets! He scored twice for Bordeuax! TWICE! Two is a big number for a French footballer! Aw man, what an awesome game.
Oh. I just saw the next game. I suppose I'll do some juxtaposition to feign excitement so that the tone isn't lowered by the absolute appalling state of affairs.
HOLY FUCKING TITWANKS, NICE DIDN'T BEAT PARIS St. GERMAIN, but guess what, PARIS St. GERMAIN DIDN'T BEAT NICE. THAT'S RIGHT! IT WAS A DRAW! AND NO GOALS WERE SCORED! AND THERE WERE ONLY TWO BOOKINGS. YAY. I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED BY HOW BORING THIS GAME WAS.
Whoa, I think I'm having a head rush from how exciting all of this football is.
I think I just found the most awesome player ever to play for St. Etienne. Aubameyang scored in the 71st minute for them. So in the end, they beat Toulouse 1-0. Haha, Toulouse. Tu lose. Hah! French pun!
OH DUDE. You know Hazard? Well his name is Eden, and he's wanted by loads of clubs in the Premiere League of England. Let's hope he doesn't get bought by any Cornish team badum tsss!
Okay, you didn't get that one. Admittedly, it was quite a long shot. If you know the geography of England, then you'll know that the Eden project is - oh, you just got it. Well done :)
I'm assuming you got it at that point, if you didn't then... Ask a friend.
Anyway, more football.
I think Chafni was having problems with his knee... perhaps of the chafing variety and as such in a scuffle he knocked someone over, and that was why he was booked. He plays for Auxerre by the way. They drew 1-1 against Lorient. Right, that's that out of the way. Now let's look at who got booked. Hah, Grichting is an awesome name. "What've you got there, mate?" "Ah you know, it's just grich and ting." Uhuh. Now say Ndinga. Now say it again. Now say it over and over to a beat. How cool is that? Whoa, Gassama man, did you get booked for farting? Keep it in. Romao? What are you doing back? Get back to your Shakespearean novel! Mvuemba. That's just an awesome name. So, so awesome. Audard clearly got sent off for being... no, I think doing that would be trying to 'ard. Audard tried 'ard as well. He's oh-d-'ard.
HAHAHAHAH. I love balls. Footballs.
Oooh, Gentilettii, be careful with those Brests. I love Brest. I think it's my favourite team that isn't ... can I mention another team that isn't Brest or Dijon in this match report? I don't think I should. Not only does Gentiletti look like genital, but he scored for Brest. That's just funny. Also, he's got gentile in his name, hence the first pun. Anyway, I suppose I should talk about the actual game. Yeah, I don't think I can make any puns from these names. Wait, got it. They're all players for Dijon though, and they all got booked. Meite got booked for overcharging the referee for his electricity bill, Sankhare tried to drown a rabbit and Souprayen was unlawfully making his religious beliefs known on the pitch, but that paid off because a few minutes later Kakuta scored, making the final score 1-1.
This has got to stop.
Alright, there are no funny names in this match at all. None. There are awesome names, but no funny ones. Okay? So no more puns. I can't even make a pun using the team names, so there'll be no fooling toms in this report, no sir. Caen beat Lyon 2-1.
See? I didn't tomfool at all.
WOW. MONTPELLIER BEAT AC AJACCIO 3-0! AND ALL OF THE GOALS WERE IN THE SECOND HALF!
Still no tomfoolery. It's all serious from here on in. If I'm perfectly honest, I think it's because all of the puns have run out.
Oh come on, Nancy, stop being such a ... well a nancy! If I see you lose again then I'll - wait, I said seriousness. Whew. Calm down. Samassa scored for - Samassa sounds like a popular Indian snack! - oh now come on, Inside Voice, that was just immature. For those of you who don't know, my Inside Voice occasionally annoys me. Especially on my blog. *cough* So didn't just advertise my blog. Anyway, this guy scored for Valenciennes in the very last minute, well actually, in two minutes past the very last minute, so I bet that was exciting. This made the final score 1-0 to Valenciennes.
What's left? Rennes beat Sochaux 1-0. I have nothing left to say about this game, except the guy who got booked for Sochaux. His name is Yaya. Is that like a really happy yoyo?
I'm Peter Hutchinson and this week I think I definitely kicked you in the balls. Footballs.
Pete out.
Friday, 10 February 2012
A-League Review: Last Weekend
I'm sorry this is SO late, I've been really busy this week. I'll just post the results from last week, and this week you'll get a special treat - the first of many video reviews!
Adelaide United 1-2 Wellington Phoenix
Central Coast Mariners 0-2 Brisbane Roar
Melbourne Victory 0-0 Melbourne Heart
Sydney FC 2-5 Newcastle Jets
Perth Glory 4-0 Gold Coast United
Shame I'm not doing these really, it was a great week. Sorry!
Adelaide United 1-2 Wellington Phoenix
Central Coast Mariners 0-2 Brisbane Roar
Melbourne Victory 0-0 Melbourne Heart
Sydney FC 2-5 Newcastle Jets
Perth Glory 4-0 Gold Coast United
Shame I'm not doing these really, it was a great week. Sorry!
Thursday, 9 February 2012
Ligue 1 - 6th February 2012
Oh yeah! First football of February! New month for new things to not happen. Such is the way the French like it. You know, the last thing the French invented was the face transplant in 2005. Well, they didn't invent it as such, they just were the first people to do it. Oh and the thing before that was the invention of DivX in 1995. But the last time they actually made an invention that wasn't an add-on to something else was Parkour in the 1980s which involves idiots jumping around rooftops and avoiding work. The French just needed a new way to protest, and in balance something else to protest about.
Anyway, talking about how ... "productive" the French are isn't getting any football talked about, so let's talk about the week's foot-y.
We start with a draw, but it looks like it was an exciting draw because there were four bookings! Wait, it was half-exciting, because all four goals and all the bookings happened in the first half. So the first half didn't disappoint the fans and they knew they'd got their tickets' worth, but once they'd left they were bored stiff, so it's swings and roundabouts really. Uh... I forgot to mention the teams. Marseille 2-2 Lyon. Good.
It's the exact opposite in this game. Everyone was ready to leave by the end of the first half, but then the second half produced some results, so yeah! AC Ajaccio 1-1 Nice. Good. I might say that the AC Ajaccio goal was a penalty scored by Dos Santos, which is an awesome name.
More first half action when Bordeaux beat Toulouse 2-0. It's like they want their fans disappointed in one half and up on the ceiling in excitement in the other half. Never heard of consistency, French teams? You're making my job annoying.
Ooh, now this game looks interesting. Valenciennes scored both of their goals in the first half, but Dijon scored in the second half! Wow! Stuff happening on either side of the game! Although this does make it look like the teams agreed which half they'd like to play in. Sigh. Any awesome names? Benjamin Corgnet is an awesome name. I might call my next dog Benjamin Corgnet.
Montpellier groped Brest so much that Brest lactated all of their best players at Montpellier, hence the bookings and the sending off of Abdoul Sissoko. Apparently though, this was just Brest being a massive tit, because Montpellier jizzed all over them 1-0.
Okay, the puns this week are just so bad that I want to delete them. I mean, seriously, they're just horrendous. It sounds like I want to make puns about Brest, and I do, because they're called Brest and I can't help it. But that was just overkill. I had a high point for the Nice-Brest game, but now it's just gone downhill. Sigh. Let's do some pun-less stuff then.
Nancy 0-0 Rennes. It was quite literally the most boring game of all time though. Vincent Pajot got booked in the first fifteen minutes, and then in the 67th minute Loosemy Karaboue of Nancy was all like, "loose my karaboue!" and decked a guy, which is why he got booked, and Sami of Nancy in the 87th minute did the sami as Pajot to get booked.
Okay, when I said pun-less. I lied.
Oh my god, I think this might the best game of all time! Paris Saint-Germain Vs Evian Thonon Gaillar! It doesn't even matter what the score is. Just say those names, and revel in them. Paris Saint-Germain. Evian Thonon Gaillar. It's like poetry. French is such a beautiful language. It's a shame the bastards who speak it aren't as good looking as their language. That sounded mean. I don't hate the French. They're alright. I've met... a single French person that I like. That's out of the hundreds I've met though. Anyway, amazing game, ended up with Paris SG winning 3-1. It was so exciting that that guy wet his pants *points*.
I think that might be it. Hmm. It feels like there haven't been enough games... Oh well, like I care.
Pete out.
Anyway, talking about how ... "productive" the French are isn't getting any football talked about, so let's talk about the week's foot-y.
We start with a draw, but it looks like it was an exciting draw because there were four bookings! Wait, it was half-exciting, because all four goals and all the bookings happened in the first half. So the first half didn't disappoint the fans and they knew they'd got their tickets' worth, but once they'd left they were bored stiff, so it's swings and roundabouts really. Uh... I forgot to mention the teams. Marseille 2-2 Lyon. Good.
It's the exact opposite in this game. Everyone was ready to leave by the end of the first half, but then the second half produced some results, so yeah! AC Ajaccio 1-1 Nice. Good. I might say that the AC Ajaccio goal was a penalty scored by Dos Santos, which is an awesome name.
More first half action when Bordeaux beat Toulouse 2-0. It's like they want their fans disappointed in one half and up on the ceiling in excitement in the other half. Never heard of consistency, French teams? You're making my job annoying.
Ooh, now this game looks interesting. Valenciennes scored both of their goals in the first half, but Dijon scored in the second half! Wow! Stuff happening on either side of the game! Although this does make it look like the teams agreed which half they'd like to play in. Sigh. Any awesome names? Benjamin Corgnet is an awesome name. I might call my next dog Benjamin Corgnet.
Montpellier groped Brest so much that Brest lactated all of their best players at Montpellier, hence the bookings and the sending off of Abdoul Sissoko. Apparently though, this was just Brest being a massive tit, because Montpellier jizzed all over them 1-0.
Okay, the puns this week are just so bad that I want to delete them. I mean, seriously, they're just horrendous. It sounds like I want to make puns about Brest, and I do, because they're called Brest and I can't help it. But that was just overkill. I had a high point for the Nice-Brest game, but now it's just gone downhill. Sigh. Let's do some pun-less stuff then.
Nancy 0-0 Rennes. It was quite literally the most boring game of all time though. Vincent Pajot got booked in the first fifteen minutes, and then in the 67th minute Loosemy Karaboue of Nancy was all like, "loose my karaboue!" and decked a guy, which is why he got booked, and Sami of Nancy in the 87th minute did the sami as Pajot to get booked.
Okay, when I said pun-less. I lied.
Oh my god, I think this might the best game of all time! Paris Saint-Germain Vs Evian Thonon Gaillar! It doesn't even matter what the score is. Just say those names, and revel in them. Paris Saint-Germain. Evian Thonon Gaillar. It's like poetry. French is such a beautiful language. It's a shame the bastards who speak it aren't as good looking as their language. That sounded mean. I don't hate the French. They're alright. I've met... a single French person that I like. That's out of the hundreds I've met though. Anyway, amazing game, ended up with Paris SG winning 3-1. It was so exciting that that guy wet his pants *points*.
I think that might be it. Hmm. It feels like there haven't been enough games... Oh well, like I care.
Pete out.
Friday, 3 February 2012
A-League Preview: 3rd February 2012
First preview in a while. What can I say? I got woken up and it's cold. This will keep my fingers warm.
Adelaide United - Wellington Phoenix
Date: Friday 3 February 2012
Kick-off: 8.00pm AEDT, 7.30pm local
Venue: Hindmarsh Stadium
Recent Form:
Adelaide United: LDLDD
Wellington Phoenix: WWWLW
In the last 5 matches between the two, the results are 2 wins a-piece, with 1 draw. John Kosmina's job is not looking as easy as it did when he took over what seems like a decade ago. His team are 9th in the league, and unless they start bringing in the points regularly, it doesn't look like they're going to get the results they need. History is on their side as their record in Kiwiland is 7 wins, 5 draws and 3 losses. Sergio van Dijk needs to be on top form for the reds if they're going to extend that record.
Unlike Adelaide, Wellington don't have to give up any players to the Olyroos (Australian Under-23's who have their olympic qualification in the coming weeks). They also have on form players like Chris Greenacre and Ifill. I believe they are the form team in the league at the moment, and they should demolish Adelaide at the Hindmarsh stadium.
Central Coast Mariners - Brisbane Roar
Date: Saturday 4 February 2012
Kick-off: 5.30pm AEDT, 5.30pm local
Venue: Bluetongue Stadium
Recent Form:
Central Coast: WWDWW
Brisbane Roar: LDWDD
In the last 5 head to heads, the result is 3 wins for Brisbane (including one on penalties in the Grand Final last year, 1 draw and the last win to Central Coast, who of course won 2-1 in December. Earlier in the year I would have had this down as a potential title decider, but Central Coast are so far ahead, and Brisbane's form has been so lacking that I just can't see it happening. It is more of a pride game for Roar, as well as keeping up the race for 2nd. A win for them could even see Wellington get in with a better chance of winning their first Premiership.
Central Coast are undefeated in 15 games, and should their run continue, they could go on to challenge Roar's own record of...whatever it was, 30-something games unbeaten. However it is entirely possible that just this one loss could start a chain of losses - as it did to Roar themselves - and bring Mariners season crashing down around them. I wouldn't bet on it, but let's face it, who would have bet on the same thing happening to Brisbane?
Melbourne Heart - Melbourne Victory
Date: Saturday February 4
Kick-off: 7.45pm AEDT
Venue: AAMI Park, Melbourne
Recent Form:
Melbourne Heart: LDLLD
Melbourne Victory: DDLDW
Last 5 matches between these sides have ended 2 wins for Heart, 1 for Victory and 2 draws. What a difference a couple of months can make. When these two last met, Heart were looking like mounting a legitimate title challenge, whereas Victory were in dire straits and not knowing where their next points were coming from. Now it's all changed. Melbourne Heart are now without a win in 6 matches, while Victory are finally starting to get points picking up 6 out of 15 points on offer, compared to 2 points from 15 for Heart.
Both sides desparately need a win here - Heart to maintain their finals aspirations, and Victory to actually get into the finals at all. Victory have endured heartbreak and their past 2 matches, with lates goals equalisers coming against Gold Coast and Sydney, but if either team is going to turn around their poor form, this will be the match they do it in. Now that I've said that, you just know this will end as a draw.
Sydney FC - Newcastle Jets
Date: Sunday, February 5
Kick-off: 5pm AEDT
Venue: Sydney Football Stadium
Recent Form:
Sydney FC: DWDLL
Newcastle: WDLDL
Last 5 matches between these two have ended 4 wins for Sydney and a draw. This is your typical mid table clash, both sides aiming for the finals, and I can see this being a draw, possibly a Sydney win. They have the stronger, younger side, and we are consistently seeing Newcastle throwing away chances at the death.
Newcastle are the better of two evils on form (even though they both have the same number of points accrued over the last 5 matches), but they really need to dig in deep if they're going to beat a stubborn Sydney side.
Perth Glory - Gold Coast United
Date: Monday 6th February
Time: 7:00pm
Location: nib Stadium, Perth
Recent Form:
Perth Glory: WWDWW
Gold Coast: DLLDL
Last 5 matches between these teams have ended with 3 Gold Coast wins, 1 Perth win and a draw, but based on current form, I can't see anythign but a Perth win. Shane Smeltz is on fire for them, and Gold Coast...yeah they've in improved, but they're still shipping goals they should probably be stopping, and they aren't scoring enough up front either.
Unless GCU can suddenly start scoring, I have this down as a Perth win. Big time.
Adelaide United - Wellington Phoenix
Date: Friday 3 February 2012
Kick-off: 8.00pm AEDT, 7.30pm local
Venue: Hindmarsh Stadium
Recent Form:
Adelaide United: LDLDD
Wellington Phoenix: WWWLW
In the last 5 matches between the two, the results are 2 wins a-piece, with 1 draw. John Kosmina's job is not looking as easy as it did when he took over what seems like a decade ago. His team are 9th in the league, and unless they start bringing in the points regularly, it doesn't look like they're going to get the results they need. History is on their side as their record in Kiwiland is 7 wins, 5 draws and 3 losses. Sergio van Dijk needs to be on top form for the reds if they're going to extend that record.
Unlike Adelaide, Wellington don't have to give up any players to the Olyroos (Australian Under-23's who have their olympic qualification in the coming weeks). They also have on form players like Chris Greenacre and Ifill. I believe they are the form team in the league at the moment, and they should demolish Adelaide at the Hindmarsh stadium.
Central Coast Mariners - Brisbane Roar
Date: Saturday 4 February 2012
Kick-off: 5.30pm AEDT, 5.30pm local
Venue: Bluetongue Stadium
Recent Form:
Central Coast: WWDWW
Brisbane Roar: LDWDD
In the last 5 head to heads, the result is 3 wins for Brisbane (including one on penalties in the Grand Final last year, 1 draw and the last win to Central Coast, who of course won 2-1 in December. Earlier in the year I would have had this down as a potential title decider, but Central Coast are so far ahead, and Brisbane's form has been so lacking that I just can't see it happening. It is more of a pride game for Roar, as well as keeping up the race for 2nd. A win for them could even see Wellington get in with a better chance of winning their first Premiership.
Central Coast are undefeated in 15 games, and should their run continue, they could go on to challenge Roar's own record of...whatever it was, 30-something games unbeaten. However it is entirely possible that just this one loss could start a chain of losses - as it did to Roar themselves - and bring Mariners season crashing down around them. I wouldn't bet on it, but let's face it, who would have bet on the same thing happening to Brisbane?
Melbourne Heart - Melbourne Victory
Date: Saturday February 4
Kick-off: 7.45pm AEDT
Venue: AAMI Park, Melbourne
Recent Form:
Melbourne Heart: LDLLD
Melbourne Victory: DDLDW
Last 5 matches between these sides have ended 2 wins for Heart, 1 for Victory and 2 draws. What a difference a couple of months can make. When these two last met, Heart were looking like mounting a legitimate title challenge, whereas Victory were in dire straits and not knowing where their next points were coming from. Now it's all changed. Melbourne Heart are now without a win in 6 matches, while Victory are finally starting to get points picking up 6 out of 15 points on offer, compared to 2 points from 15 for Heart.
Both sides desparately need a win here - Heart to maintain their finals aspirations, and Victory to actually get into the finals at all. Victory have endured heartbreak and their past 2 matches, with lates goals equalisers coming against Gold Coast and Sydney, but if either team is going to turn around their poor form, this will be the match they do it in. Now that I've said that, you just know this will end as a draw.
Sydney FC - Newcastle Jets
Date: Sunday, February 5
Kick-off: 5pm AEDT
Venue: Sydney Football Stadium
Recent Form:
Sydney FC: DWDLL
Newcastle: WDLDL
Last 5 matches between these two have ended 4 wins for Sydney and a draw. This is your typical mid table clash, both sides aiming for the finals, and I can see this being a draw, possibly a Sydney win. They have the stronger, younger side, and we are consistently seeing Newcastle throwing away chances at the death.
Newcastle are the better of two evils on form (even though they both have the same number of points accrued over the last 5 matches), but they really need to dig in deep if they're going to beat a stubborn Sydney side.
Perth Glory - Gold Coast United
Date: Monday 6th February
Time: 7:00pm
Location: nib Stadium, Perth
Recent Form:
Perth Glory: WWDWW
Gold Coast: DLLDL
Last 5 matches between these teams have ended with 3 Gold Coast wins, 1 Perth win and a draw, but based on current form, I can't see anythign but a Perth win. Shane Smeltz is on fire for them, and Gold Coast...yeah they've in improved, but they're still shipping goals they should probably be stopping, and they aren't scoring enough up front either.
Unless GCU can suddenly start scoring, I have this down as a Perth win. Big time.
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Premier League Review: 2nd February 2012 (Part 2)
Sunderland 3-0 Norwich City
Frazier Campbell scored on his first start in the premier league for a year and a half as Sunderland thoroughly thrashed a Norwich side who were riding on high on a 6 match unbeaten streak. Martin O'Neill continued his revolution at the Stadium of Light by adding another win to give them just one loss in 7 matches.
After Campbell's goal, Sessegnon netted just 7 minutes later, before Canaries player Ayala scored an own goal just after half time and the rest,as they say, is history. There's not really much else to say about this match to be fair.
Sunderland have moved into the top 10 in the first time in...well in a while. They're 8th, and while they may be 7 points of Arsenal in 7th (and a potential Europa League spot should the cup competitions go the right way), but should Arsenal continue to slip up, and Sunderland keep up their winning ways, it could be a sneaky jump into Europe come the end of the season.
Fulham 1-1 West Bromwich Albion
West Brom snatched a late equaliser through Tchoyi who had only come off the bench 5 minutes earlier. He latched onto a flick from James Morrison to register his first goal of the season.
Fulham had led til then through a goal from in-form Clint Dempsey. Interesting fact time: No other player for Fulham has registered more than 2 goals this season. I know, hey? Anyway, Dempsey scored his 10th goal in style, slotting in from close range in the second half. However, Tchoyi arrived on cue to spoil Fulham's party at Craven Cottage.
Fulham are now in 13th place, in striking distance of 8th, while West Brom are just behind in 15th, within range of 10th place.
Bolton Wanderers 0-0 Arsenal
An immense defensive display by Bolton ensured Arsenal could not get the points they needed to stay in the race for 3rd place and an automatic champions league group stage spot. However, the point keeps them out of reach of Sunderland, for now.
It wasn't that Arsenal couldn't attack, they just couldn't get the finishing touch on the ball at the other end. Bolton might even have won the match, had a late penalty appeal by Mark Davies not been turned down by the referee.
Arsenal are now 5 points behind Chelsea in 4th, and 2 points behind the only guarenteed Europa league spot, currently occupied by Newcastle. Bolton however are still 17th, but are now just putting some distance between themselves and the bottom 3.
Blackburn Rovers 0-2 Newcastle United
Scott Dann, sought after during the transfer window, was at fault today for scoring a 12th minute own goal, while Gabriel Obertan's goal wrapped up a victory for Newcastle United that kept up their advances on taking a champions league spot from Chelsea.
David Dunn was at fault as well for missing a penalty, and Leon Best's header against his own bar could have levelled the scores before Obertan's stoppage time goal. Blackburn have now lost 3 games out of 4 against Newcastle, all within the space of 4 months.
Newcastle kept up the pressure on Chelsea, who tied against Swansea, and also held off advances from Liverpool and Arsenal. However, for Blackburn, their mini-revival has pretty much come to an end, and though they are just 2 points from safety, I'm sure the protests against Steve Kean will start up again soon enough.
Aston Villa 2-2 QPR
Aston Villa bounced back from 2 goals down to level against QPR, after Djibril Cisse scored his first goal back in English football after just 15 minutes. Stephen Warnock also scored an own goal to give the impression that this was just not going to be Villa's day.
However, a goal just before half time through Darren Bent (His 100th league goal). Villa came back out with a new attacking look about them, and it took until the 79th minute for Charles N'Zogbia to level the scores, and spare a defeat for Villa boss McLeish. Interesting fact, Villa had 70% possession.
Villa sit in 12th, though they can hit up to 8th if they win. As for QPR, they are now 16th, 3 points from the drop. However, they have just signed a few players, and players such as Cisse will be the ones who can help to keep them up. They just need them to all gel quickly.
Frazier Campbell scored on his first start in the premier league for a year and a half as Sunderland thoroughly thrashed a Norwich side who were riding on high on a 6 match unbeaten streak. Martin O'Neill continued his revolution at the Stadium of Light by adding another win to give them just one loss in 7 matches.
After Campbell's goal, Sessegnon netted just 7 minutes later, before Canaries player Ayala scored an own goal just after half time and the rest,as they say, is history. There's not really much else to say about this match to be fair.
Sunderland have moved into the top 10 in the first time in...well in a while. They're 8th, and while they may be 7 points of Arsenal in 7th (and a potential Europa League spot should the cup competitions go the right way), but should Arsenal continue to slip up, and Sunderland keep up their winning ways, it could be a sneaky jump into Europe come the end of the season.
Fulham 1-1 West Bromwich Albion
West Brom snatched a late equaliser through Tchoyi who had only come off the bench 5 minutes earlier. He latched onto a flick from James Morrison to register his first goal of the season.
Fulham had led til then through a goal from in-form Clint Dempsey. Interesting fact time: No other player for Fulham has registered more than 2 goals this season. I know, hey? Anyway, Dempsey scored his 10th goal in style, slotting in from close range in the second half. However, Tchoyi arrived on cue to spoil Fulham's party at Craven Cottage.
Fulham are now in 13th place, in striking distance of 8th, while West Brom are just behind in 15th, within range of 10th place.
Bolton Wanderers 0-0 Arsenal
An immense defensive display by Bolton ensured Arsenal could not get the points they needed to stay in the race for 3rd place and an automatic champions league group stage spot. However, the point keeps them out of reach of Sunderland, for now.
It wasn't that Arsenal couldn't attack, they just couldn't get the finishing touch on the ball at the other end. Bolton might even have won the match, had a late penalty appeal by Mark Davies not been turned down by the referee.
Arsenal are now 5 points behind Chelsea in 4th, and 2 points behind the only guarenteed Europa league spot, currently occupied by Newcastle. Bolton however are still 17th, but are now just putting some distance between themselves and the bottom 3.
Blackburn Rovers 0-2 Newcastle United
Scott Dann, sought after during the transfer window, was at fault today for scoring a 12th minute own goal, while Gabriel Obertan's goal wrapped up a victory for Newcastle United that kept up their advances on taking a champions league spot from Chelsea.
David Dunn was at fault as well for missing a penalty, and Leon Best's header against his own bar could have levelled the scores before Obertan's stoppage time goal. Blackburn have now lost 3 games out of 4 against Newcastle, all within the space of 4 months.
Newcastle kept up the pressure on Chelsea, who tied against Swansea, and also held off advances from Liverpool and Arsenal. However, for Blackburn, their mini-revival has pretty much come to an end, and though they are just 2 points from safety, I'm sure the protests against Steve Kean will start up again soon enough.
Aston Villa 2-2 QPR
Aston Villa bounced back from 2 goals down to level against QPR, after Djibril Cisse scored his first goal back in English football after just 15 minutes. Stephen Warnock also scored an own goal to give the impression that this was just not going to be Villa's day.
However, a goal just before half time through Darren Bent (His 100th league goal). Villa came back out with a new attacking look about them, and it took until the 79th minute for Charles N'Zogbia to level the scores, and spare a defeat for Villa boss McLeish. Interesting fact, Villa had 70% possession.
Villa sit in 12th, though they can hit up to 8th if they win. As for QPR, they are now 16th, 3 points from the drop. However, they have just signed a few players, and players such as Cisse will be the ones who can help to keep them up. They just need them to all gel quickly.
Premier League Review: 2nd February 2012 (Part 1)
It's been a jam-packed midweek of football here in England, and I'm here to tell you all the best bits from the week's Premier League action.
Dukey's One 2 Watch: Manchester United 2-0 Stoke City
This match was a danger for United before it even began. Both first choice keepers were out. Anders Lindegaard left training the day before with an injury, and David De Gea called up sick on the day. Rather than go with Tomasz Kusczak (I think that's how to spell it) Alex Ferguson took a chance and handed a Premier League debut to United academy product Ben Amos.
He took his debut against one of the most physical sides in the league and against three strikers - Kenwyne Jones, Peter Crouch and Jonathan Walters, and you know what? He didn't do too badly. Then again, he did only have to make one save as Stoke's attacking threat was nullified by a well organised United defence. United themselves were without 11 players including Rooney and Nani. However, they still managed to attack fluently and controlled play for most of the game. Despite their inability to score from open play, they did register two goals through penalties thanks to Hernandez and Berbatov, who scored in the 38th and 53rd minutes respectively.
United's win moves them level on points with league leaders Man City, and with matches against Chelsea and Liverpool looming this result will be a great boost in confidence after the last gasp defeat against Liverpool in the FA Cup. They are also 5 points ahead of Tottenha in 3rd. Stoke, however, have dropped down to 9th.
Everton 1-0 Manchester City
Former United player Darron Gibson scored the only goal against his old club's title rivals as Everton clung on. Actually, you know, that's not fair. They did have a ball cleared off the line by Joleon Lescott, and Samir Nasri hit the bar twice aswell.
There was also an unfortunate event of a fan handcuffing himself to one of the goal posts (supposedly in protest at his daughter being denied a job at...an airline company? Something like that).
City have now only won once in their last 14 matches to Goodison Park and solid defending from Everton ensured they would leave the stadium top of the table only on goal difference. Everton on the other hand have jumped up to 10th in the league, and can look to the future with great hope, having just secured the signing of striker Jelavic from Rangers. It's about time they signed a recognised goal scorer, and 30 goals in 45 SPL games should hopefully be proof enough that this guy can finally get the goals they need.
Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-3 Liverpool
Liverpool continued their winning streak, having dumped out Manchester City and United from the League and FA cups respectively. One might have expected them to slow down a bit, but no. There was no letting up and it seems they are determined to get one of those coveted Champions League spots.
Goals from Carroll, celebrating one year on Merseyside, Bellamy and Kuyt all gave Liverpool the victory at the Molineux. It was Carroll's 7th goal since his move one year ago, but he finally appears to be finding his scoring boots and his goal set Liverpool on their way to victory. Craig Bellamy then scored his 7th goal in 7 starts and 6th league goal in 17 league matches, before Kuyt notched his 50th league goal for Liverpool.
Liverpool are now 6th. 1 point behind 5th placed Newcastle and 4 points behind 4th placed Chelsea. Wolves are 19th, though a win could see them jump out of the relegation zone, but they are now without a win in 9 games.
Tottenham Hotspur 3-1 Wigan Athletic
Tottenham are in pole position for a champions league space (one of the ones that realistically will not be filled by Manchester anyway) by thrashing Wigan at White Hart Lane.
Luka Modric and Gareth Bale ran circles around the Latics, and Bale struck first in the 29th minute through a chest and volley after a brilliant cross from Modric who then himself got on the scoresheet 5 minutes later. Bale bagged his brace in the 64th minute before McArthur scored a consolation goal for Wigan in the 80th minute.
Tottenham are 5 points behind Manchester United, but are now 7 points ahead of Chelsea, and 10 points ahead of Newcastle, 5th. Assuming they can keep up a mildly good run in the league, they're basically assured of a champions league space for next season. For Wolves, they need to buck up their ideas and start getting some results and racking up the points. They're 2 points away from safety, and have some difficult games coming up.
Swansea 1-1 Chelsea
Maybe it's because I'm a Man United fan, but I'm going to just point out that Fernando Torres has now only scored 3 league goals in 32 league games. Muahaha. Anyway, He didn't score...again. In fact, Swansea scored first, through ex Blues winger Scott Sinclair scored through a low strike against his former club before Ashley Cole was sent off. They also had two chances cleared off the line by Ivanovic and David Luiz.
Swansea then clung on for the rest of the match, holding off wave after wave of Chelsea attack. It was only in the dying seconds of the match, that Swans player Taylor diverted in a Bosingwa shot past the helpless Vorm (who, by the way, has been an inspired signing by Brendan Rodgers).
Swansea have dropped to 14th place, although the yare very close to the rest of the mid-table teams, and a victory could have seen them jump into the top 10. As for Chelsea, they are falling behind in...well they've lost the title race, but they have to focus on the champions league now, and they're only 3 points ahead of Newcastle, and 7 points behind Tottenham. They just need to keep grinding out results and keep picking up points.
Dukey's One 2 Watch: Manchester United 2-0 Stoke City
This match was a danger for United before it even began. Both first choice keepers were out. Anders Lindegaard left training the day before with an injury, and David De Gea called up sick on the day. Rather than go with Tomasz Kusczak (I think that's how to spell it) Alex Ferguson took a chance and handed a Premier League debut to United academy product Ben Amos.
He took his debut against one of the most physical sides in the league and against three strikers - Kenwyne Jones, Peter Crouch and Jonathan Walters, and you know what? He didn't do too badly. Then again, he did only have to make one save as Stoke's attacking threat was nullified by a well organised United defence. United themselves were without 11 players including Rooney and Nani. However, they still managed to attack fluently and controlled play for most of the game. Despite their inability to score from open play, they did register two goals through penalties thanks to Hernandez and Berbatov, who scored in the 38th and 53rd minutes respectively.
United's win moves them level on points with league leaders Man City, and with matches against Chelsea and Liverpool looming this result will be a great boost in confidence after the last gasp defeat against Liverpool in the FA Cup. They are also 5 points ahead of Tottenha in 3rd. Stoke, however, have dropped down to 9th.
Everton 1-0 Manchester City
Former United player Darron Gibson scored the only goal against his old club's title rivals as Everton clung on. Actually, you know, that's not fair. They did have a ball cleared off the line by Joleon Lescott, and Samir Nasri hit the bar twice aswell.
There was also an unfortunate event of a fan handcuffing himself to one of the goal posts (supposedly in protest at his daughter being denied a job at...an airline company? Something like that).
City have now only won once in their last 14 matches to Goodison Park and solid defending from Everton ensured they would leave the stadium top of the table only on goal difference. Everton on the other hand have jumped up to 10th in the league, and can look to the future with great hope, having just secured the signing of striker Jelavic from Rangers. It's about time they signed a recognised goal scorer, and 30 goals in 45 SPL games should hopefully be proof enough that this guy can finally get the goals they need.
Wolverhampton Wanderers 0-3 Liverpool
Liverpool continued their winning streak, having dumped out Manchester City and United from the League and FA cups respectively. One might have expected them to slow down a bit, but no. There was no letting up and it seems they are determined to get one of those coveted Champions League spots.
Goals from Carroll, celebrating one year on Merseyside, Bellamy and Kuyt all gave Liverpool the victory at the Molineux. It was Carroll's 7th goal since his move one year ago, but he finally appears to be finding his scoring boots and his goal set Liverpool on their way to victory. Craig Bellamy then scored his 7th goal in 7 starts and 6th league goal in 17 league matches, before Kuyt notched his 50th league goal for Liverpool.
Liverpool are now 6th. 1 point behind 5th placed Newcastle and 4 points behind 4th placed Chelsea. Wolves are 19th, though a win could see them jump out of the relegation zone, but they are now without a win in 9 games.
Tottenham Hotspur 3-1 Wigan Athletic
Tottenham are in pole position for a champions league space (one of the ones that realistically will not be filled by Manchester anyway) by thrashing Wigan at White Hart Lane.
Luka Modric and Gareth Bale ran circles around the Latics, and Bale struck first in the 29th minute through a chest and volley after a brilliant cross from Modric who then himself got on the scoresheet 5 minutes later. Bale bagged his brace in the 64th minute before McArthur scored a consolation goal for Wigan in the 80th minute.
Tottenham are 5 points behind Manchester United, but are now 7 points ahead of Chelsea, and 10 points ahead of Newcastle, 5th. Assuming they can keep up a mildly good run in the league, they're basically assured of a champions league space for next season. For Wolves, they need to buck up their ideas and start getting some results and racking up the points. They're 2 points away from safety, and have some difficult games coming up.
Swansea 1-1 Chelsea
Maybe it's because I'm a Man United fan, but I'm going to just point out that Fernando Torres has now only scored 3 league goals in 32 league games. Muahaha. Anyway, He didn't score...again. In fact, Swansea scored first, through ex Blues winger Scott Sinclair scored through a low strike against his former club before Ashley Cole was sent off. They also had two chances cleared off the line by Ivanovic and David Luiz.
Swansea then clung on for the rest of the match, holding off wave after wave of Chelsea attack. It was only in the dying seconds of the match, that Swans player Taylor diverted in a Bosingwa shot past the helpless Vorm (who, by the way, has been an inspired signing by Brendan Rodgers).
Swansea have dropped to 14th place, although the yare very close to the rest of the mid-table teams, and a victory could have seen them jump into the top 10. As for Chelsea, they are falling behind in...well they've lost the title race, but they have to focus on the champions league now, and they're only 3 points ahead of Newcastle, and 7 points behind Tottenham. They just need to keep grinding out results and keep picking up points.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
A-League Review: 1st February 2012
Just the one match for you today, but a surprise special news thing afterwards. Wait, did that ruin the surprise? Forget you read that....now. OK? Good.
Melbourne Victory 1-1 Gold Coast United
Hah! I just got that! Melbourne Victory, it's like Melbourne, Victoria! Touché Australia. I had you all down as thieves and low lives, but well done. Hah. Anyway, on a cloudy day in...Launceston? Wait, isn't that in Tasmania? *Checks map* It is! What?! Hang on.
Melbourne - Launceston
Gold Coast - Launceston
Granted those don't count taking a plane, but still! Wait, what's that? They what? Oh...that...alright. OK, well it turns out those games that were missed out throughout the season are played at random intervals in random locations to try and build support for the game/league throughout Australia...huh.
Oh, right, the match. So yeah, cloudy day. Launceston (Crazy people). Right, OK, set? A late goal from Michael Thwaite once again denied Melbourne Victory the maximum three points, and brings their recent record to three draws and a loss in their last 4 matches. Harry Kewell scored his 3rd goal of the season from a well taken free kick in the 66th minute.
Jim Magilton is still searching for his first win as Victory boss, and loan signing Mark Milligan, who is really expected to make his mark on the league during his spell down under, was very quiet. The 26 year old loanee from Japanese side JEF United was solid at the back, but admittedly didn't have to do much, and when called upon to defend in the dying moments of the game, the entire defence was at fault for allowing the goal.
Take nothing away from Gold Coast, though. They defended like lions, and while they only had 31% of possession, they made their possession count in the end, though Victory will kick themsleves for letting this one slip through their hands.
Victory are now down in 8th place and 3 points from the finals. As for GCU, they are still bottom, 5 points from Adelaide who are 9th, and with 9 points separating Gold Coast and Sydney in 6th, I think it's safe to rule them out of the play offs. They are pretty much left fighting to avoid the wooden spoon come the end of the regular season.
Special news
Not very long here, but Melbourne Heart have begun the search for a new Head Coach after current boss and former Ajax and Genoa great John van ‘t Schip announced he will step down when his contract expires at the end of the season.
Van 't Schip (what a weird name) was Heart's first head coach and will leave the club having brought a philosophy of attacking football and investment in a good youth system. He has unearthed gems such as Eli Babalj and Aziz Behich, while spit-polishing players like Mate Dugandzic.
He is also currently overseeing what could be a very succesful season for Heart, although they have started to slip away a bit recently. Heart have confirmed they will begin immediately the search fror a replacement with a view to having one installed by the end of the season.
Melbourne Victory 1-1 Gold Coast United
Hah! I just got that! Melbourne Victory, it's like Melbourne, Victoria! Touché Australia. I had you all down as thieves and low lives, but well done. Hah. Anyway, on a cloudy day in...Launceston? Wait, isn't that in Tasmania? *Checks map* It is! What?! Hang on.
Melbourne - Launceston
Gold Coast - Launceston
Granted those don't count taking a plane, but still! Wait, what's that? They what? Oh...that...alright. OK, well it turns out those games that were missed out throughout the season are played at random intervals in random locations to try and build support for the game/league throughout Australia...huh.
Oh, right, the match. So yeah, cloudy day. Launceston (Crazy people). Right, OK, set? A late goal from Michael Thwaite once again denied Melbourne Victory the maximum three points, and brings their recent record to three draws and a loss in their last 4 matches. Harry Kewell scored his 3rd goal of the season from a well taken free kick in the 66th minute.
Jim Magilton is still searching for his first win as Victory boss, and loan signing Mark Milligan, who is really expected to make his mark on the league during his spell down under, was very quiet. The 26 year old loanee from Japanese side JEF United was solid at the back, but admittedly didn't have to do much, and when called upon to defend in the dying moments of the game, the entire defence was at fault for allowing the goal.
Take nothing away from Gold Coast, though. They defended like lions, and while they only had 31% of possession, they made their possession count in the end, though Victory will kick themsleves for letting this one slip through their hands.
Victory are now down in 8th place and 3 points from the finals. As for GCU, they are still bottom, 5 points from Adelaide who are 9th, and with 9 points separating Gold Coast and Sydney in 6th, I think it's safe to rule them out of the play offs. They are pretty much left fighting to avoid the wooden spoon come the end of the regular season.
Special news
Not very long here, but Melbourne Heart have begun the search for a new Head Coach after current boss and former Ajax and Genoa great John van ‘t Schip announced he will step down when his contract expires at the end of the season.
Van 't Schip (what a weird name) was Heart's first head coach and will leave the club having brought a philosophy of attacking football and investment in a good youth system. He has unearthed gems such as Eli Babalj and Aziz Behich, while spit-polishing players like Mate Dugandzic.
He is also currently overseeing what could be a very succesful season for Heart, although they have started to slip away a bit recently. Heart have confirmed they will begin immediately the search fror a replacement with a view to having one installed by the end of the season.
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