Oh yeah! First football of February! New month for new things to not happen. Such is the way the French like it. You know, the last thing the French invented was the face transplant in 2005. Well, they didn't invent it as such, they just were the first people to do it. Oh and the thing before that was the invention of DivX in 1995. But the last time they actually made an invention that wasn't an add-on to something else was Parkour in the 1980s which involves idiots jumping around rooftops and avoiding work. The French just needed a new way to protest, and in balance something else to protest about.
Anyway, talking about how ... "productive" the French are isn't getting any football talked about, so let's talk about the week's foot-y.
We start with a draw, but it looks like it was an exciting draw because there were four bookings! Wait, it was half-exciting, because all four goals and all the bookings happened in the first half. So the first half didn't disappoint the fans and they knew they'd got their tickets' worth, but once they'd left they were bored stiff, so it's swings and roundabouts really. Uh... I forgot to mention the teams. Marseille 2-2 Lyon. Good.
It's the exact opposite in this game. Everyone was ready to leave by the end of the first half, but then the second half produced some results, so yeah! AC Ajaccio 1-1 Nice. Good. I might say that the AC Ajaccio goal was a penalty scored by Dos Santos, which is an awesome name.
More first half action when Bordeaux beat Toulouse 2-0. It's like they want their fans disappointed in one half and up on the ceiling in excitement in the other half. Never heard of consistency, French teams? You're making my job annoying.
Ooh, now this game looks interesting. Valenciennes scored both of their goals in the first half, but Dijon scored in the second half! Wow! Stuff happening on either side of the game! Although this does make it look like the teams agreed which half they'd like to play in. Sigh. Any awesome names? Benjamin Corgnet is an awesome name. I might call my next dog Benjamin Corgnet.
Montpellier groped Brest so much that Brest lactated all of their best players at Montpellier, hence the bookings and the sending off of Abdoul Sissoko. Apparently though, this was just Brest being a massive tit, because Montpellier jizzed all over them 1-0.
Okay, the puns this week are just so bad that I want to delete them. I mean, seriously, they're just horrendous. It sounds like I want to make puns about Brest, and I do, because they're called Brest and I can't help it. But that was just overkill. I had a high point for the Nice-Brest game, but now it's just gone downhill. Sigh. Let's do some pun-less stuff then.
Nancy 0-0 Rennes. It was quite literally the most boring game of all time though. Vincent Pajot got booked in the first fifteen minutes, and then in the 67th minute Loosemy Karaboue of Nancy was all like, "loose my karaboue!" and decked a guy, which is why he got booked, and Sami of Nancy in the 87th minute did the sami as Pajot to get booked.
Okay, when I said pun-less. I lied.
Oh my god, I think this might the best game of all time! Paris Saint-Germain Vs Evian Thonon Gaillar! It doesn't even matter what the score is. Just say those names, and revel in them. Paris Saint-Germain. Evian Thonon Gaillar. It's like poetry. French is such a beautiful language. It's a shame the bastards who speak it aren't as good looking as their language. That sounded mean. I don't hate the French. They're alright. I've met... a single French person that I like. That's out of the hundreds I've met though. Anyway, amazing game, ended up with Paris SG winning 3-1. It was so exciting that that guy wet his pants *points*.
I think that might be it. Hmm. It feels like there haven't been enough games... Oh well, like I care.
Pete out.
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